Narrative Writing

Q Zealanders have been discovering the power that good writing can contain. Here are some great similes they have come up with:

She stomped up the aisle like an elephant

Stones that are a sharp as a hedgehog

The courageously cold wind blew against Vanessa’s face

Hi eyes felt as if they were two big heavy anchors

He jumped out of his sleeping bag like a dog gone mad

Darkness was already creeping in, wiping away the remains of daylight

There was a mountain of history homework

She collapsed onto her bed like an exhausted bird that had just lost its mother

She squealed excitedly like a small child receiving a birthday present

Her words were swallowed up by the evening breeze

Their shadows crept up behind them like two grey ghosts ready to attack

The spark of hope became a flame

They were in helicopters and there were army tanks and there were helicopters hovering in the air like a swarm of bees.

(He shot the helicopter)
His bullet accelerated through the helicopter’s tail fin like a hole punch through a piece of paper

He ran home faster than a cheetah

He was sweating like a waterfall

The trees’ wet slippery branches looked like lots of spiders in the night

His eyes were blue like the sky on a summers’ day

Here are some attempts at making a dull sentence more interesting...

Instead of, "I walked out of the room, crying":
I slopped slowly out of my room crying like a baby who had just lost its dummy
I stomped out of my room almost drowning in my own tears

Instead of, "I sat down on my bed":
- I sat on my moist, soft bed like I had just run a marathon

Instead of, "The night was dark and cold":
The night was dark and gloomy like the mood after a funeral

Instead of, "The sun was shining":
The sun was shining like a star on a clear night

Instead of, "I was happy":
I was as happy as a perky pig

Instead of, "The house was empty":
The house was as empty as the Sahara desert

Instead of, "I was walking to school":
I was slowly creeping towards my long loved school

Instead of, "He held the ball in his hands":
He held the ball like a squirrel holding a nut – Lauren
He gripped the ball in his huge scaly hands - Ollie
He tightly held the bouncy round figure in the palm of his hands like a lion with his newborn cub – Georgia
He gripped the slippery sloppy ball in his sweaty hands – Ashleigh
He held the ball in his hands like an egg on a spoon – Taylor
He held his flat beach ball in his sopping wet hands - Malachi
He held the slippery wet ball in his hands. It felt like slug mucus - Estelle
He held the slightly egg-shaped red and green stripy ball in his slightly tanned hands – Kara
He squeezed the ball in his hands like he was choking a slimy fish – Konrad
He held the ball in his hands like a dog with a toy in its mouth – Josh
He held the big squishy ball in his wet sweaty hands – Noah
He held the hot, heavy ball in his huge, heavy hands - Tori

Instead of, "It was raining":

It was raining so hard that in a couple of seconds I was as wet as a waterfall – Jasmine
It was raining heavily like a thousand buckets of water being poured over your head – Oliver
The little droplets of rain pattered on the roof like a kid rustling a piece of paper – Georgia
It was raining so hard that it felt like getting hit by hundreds of bullets – Noah
The dark grey sky was bucketing down freezing cold ice drops on a gloomy night – Tori
It was pelting down with gloomy dampness looming over the lands like the a waterfall pouring out from the heavens – Nancy
It was raining heavily it sounded like guns shooting – Taylor
It was pouring down drops of water from the sky like a waterfall falling off a cliff – Daniel